“Will I ever find true love?”
It’s a question many people ask and for good reason. There’s often real happiness to be found in the right romance. At the same time, unless you’re lucky or naturally gregarious, it can be hard knowing where to start.
If you’d like help finding true love, read on for some tips on compatibility, self-reflection, and more.
Tip #1: You Have to Meet People
Many people, especially older adults, have an issue when it comes to finding romance. They don’t meet many new people, meaning their dating pool is often limited both in size and variety.
Maybe more than anything else, you need to meet people and actually be able to talk to them if you want to find a good romantic partner. The good news is the digital age has made this very easy.
There are plenty of dating sites for folks looking for all sorts of partners. There are sites aimed at Jews, Christians, the LGBTQ+ crowds, and more. You can also go international with the various Russian and Ukrainian dating sites!
Other people choose to take up group hobbies or become active in their local community. All that matters is that you’re meeting many people, as this vastly improves the odds you find someone you’re compatible with.
Tip #2: Learn to Engage (and When to Disengage)
If you’re shy or otherwise unfamiliar with romance, it can be hard to know what to do when you meet someone you’re interested in. You need to learn to engage with them; you have to put yourself out there and chat them up.
For many people, this skill is a difficult balancing act. If you like someone, it’s easy to get nervous around them. At the same time, you don’t want to act too excited or imply intimacy that doesn’t exist yet.
Often it is a good idea to try and notice something they like that you like as well. You can then introduce yourself and mention as much.
The trick is not to focus on any one thing too much unless the other person seems very interested. You also want to give them a break after a while; many people find talking to new people hard, even if they like them.
You also need to learn to disengage. In some ways, this can be even harder. Sometimes, no matter how much you like someone, they simply don’t seem to be interested in romance (or even friendship).
If this seems to be the case, be nice and let things fade away. It can be frustrating but this is why you need to be meeting many people. Romance requires two interested parties and that can take time to find.
Tip #3: Flirty, Not Creepy
Somewhat early on, once you’ve noticed you like someone and they’re willing to talk with you, it’s often best to start flirting.
The reason it can be good to do this early is that you’re not just looking for a friend. You want to signal you’d like something more which will help both the person and you save time if they aren’t interested.
At this point, it’s also worth noting that finding people on dating sites or singles events somewhat skips the early stages of flirting. By their nature, people who decide to hang out with you are at least interested in a date.
Regardless, it is very easy to “flirt” in a way that is strange and offputting. You want to put your best foot forward and act in a way that is charming, not creepy.
First, be careful to watch for signals you’re making someone uncomfortable. If you are, it’s time to back off and see what they choose to do next.
One big mistake many people make is texting over and over, even before someone responds. Even worse is unwanted touching, especially sexual touching.
Often a good opening move is to ask someone to an activity we tend to associate with romance. A drink or movies can be a good place to start. If it isn’t clear, mention you wouldn’t mind a date.
Once there, be kind and courteous. Give your date compliments and try light physical touch when the time seems right, like handholding, although make sure not to force even moderate touch like that if they want to go slow (or just aren’t interested).
Tip #4: Look for Compatibility
If you’ve found someone with who things are going well, it’s time to look for compatibility. This is your ability to romantically mix well with another person.
While it isn’t the only part of finding love, this is where sex should at least come up. Sexuality (and gender) are a huge spectrum, and there are some orientations that make two people incompatible with each other.
This is fine but is best spotted early. A huge mistake many people make is trying to radically shift where someone is in terms of what types of sexual activity they like because they like their personality. This almost never works.
You also want to monitor how your personalities mix. Do you agree on important issues? Do you make each other happy?
Some people who go on many dates but can’t seem to find love often miss this element of finding a partner. If you want true love, you need more than someone who is attractive and wants to have sex with you!
You don’t need to be identical to the person you’re dating but you need to mix well with them. On a basic level, you should be making each other happy.
Take Finding True Love Seriously
If you’re looking for a genuine life partner, take your quest for finding true love seriously. Falling in love is easy but staying in love (and having someone stay in love with you) is harder.
If you found this article helpful, we hope you’ll explore our site’s other content! Knowing how to find true love may not be easy but we have a ton of lifestyle advice that can help!